“Musicology” by Prince

Prince’s Eighties albums are generally regarded as his artistic peak, and his work in the Nineties, while much less well thought of by critics, still continued to produce a string of major hit tunes. But after 1995’s The Gold Experience, a lot of people act as though his career ended right there. His later works tend to be underrated, or, worse, ignored: on the rare occasions that anyone mentions them, it’s usually to talk about how they could never live up to his earlier classics (tellingly, this is a particularly common position among people who have never actually heard any of the albums in question). The truth is that Prince’s later albums, particularly from the 2000s and beyond, have much to be said for them, and are far more interesting than they are usually given credit for. This song, the title track and lead single to the most well-known of those later albums, is actually one of Prince’s most impressive achievements, a true tour-de-force of pure artistry. Here Prince summons up some of the most complex Funk of his career for a song about the deceptive complexity of Funk music itself, and the lyrics are actually smarter and more literate than on much of his more famous work from the Eighties and Nineties. He even worked in a coda of of fragmentary samples of his earlier hits that actually works as part of the song instead of coming across as a desperation tactic. Is it on the level of “Purple Rain”, or “When Doves Cry”, or even “Gold”? Probably not. But like its near contemporary, Michael Jackson’s Invincible, it deserved far more attention and acclaim than it ever received, especially given what was succeeding on the Pop charts at that time.

Verdict: A first-rate Prince song, and you can’t really give a song a bigger compliment than that.

“Mickey” by Toni Basil

This was one of the big MTV-driven New Wave hits of the early Eighties, but it generally gets less respect than most of its peers. This may be partly because it draws some influence from Sixties Bubblegum Pop (it was adapted from an obscure album cut by the Pop band Racy), but it has a much more sophisticated feel than any of the actual period Bubblegum acts even approached, and is actually rather interesting in an Elvis Costello Pop-Punkish New Wave kind of way. The lyrics are also more interesting than they seem at first glance. The original song was a fairly standard lament of a guy who can’t get his girl to put out, but gender-flipping it makes it almost progressive by Eighties standards…while few people really noticed it underneath the catchy tune and splashy video, you didn’t really get a lot of songs back then where the girl openly asks her guy to cut the crap and sleep with her already, at least not in this extremely direct manner, and the bluntness of its sexual agency is actually quite refreshing if you pay attention to it (essentially, Toni Basil was the closest thing to a Kesha we had back in those days). Of course, this song’s real raison d’être is the video that accompanied it, which, for something with such a simple premise (it’s basically a straightforward cheerleading routine on video) is actually quite stylish and extremely well choreographed (apart from this song, Basil won most of her fame as a choreographer, and it definitely shows here). This song has a reputation for being annoying, but the only really unpleasant part of it is the obnoxious cheerleading chant at the beginning of it, and if you can get past that, the rest of the song is a fairly respectable piece of slightly Punk-flavored Pop.

Verdict: The chanting at the beginning is still thoroughly obnoxious, but there’s enough good about the song and the video that the verdict as a whole has to be positive. Good song, lose the chant.

“Panda” by Desiigner

This was another single in the ‘Hook Artist’ vein, and while I maintain that, despite what some may claim, this genre is a valid and interesting field, I have to admit that every genre has hierarchies, and this was not an especially distinguished or memorable example of the form. It had some reasonably decent atmosphere, but it didn’t approach the level of Future, or Young Thug’s better material, or even ILoveMakonnen’s hit “Tuesday”. And frankly, the only reason this charted is because it was sampled heavily in a song called “Pt. 2” from Kanye West’s then-new album The Life of Pablo, which he made, for reasons best known to himself, extremely difficult to purchase via legal means. And while The Life of Pablo was undoubtedly Kanye’s weakest album up to that point, the fact remains that this material sounds vastly more interesting in the context of “Pt. 2” than in its original form, making the success of this version feel suspiciously like a case of ‘poor man’s substitute’.

Verdict: Mediocre at best.

“Jerusalem” by Emerson, Lake and Palmer

This band has been accused of representing all the excesses of the Progressive Rock that led to the backlash the genre received at the end of the Seventies, but I don’t think that’s entirely fair. For one thing, while the other major Prog acts like Pink Floyd or Yes had the longwindedness and emphasis on self-indulgent instrumental showoffs down pat, they still made relatively ‘normal’ music…it was dressed up in an artsy format, but the actual sounds these bands made weren’t going to shock anyone who was familiar with Rock music at all. Even the ‘edgier’ acts like King Crimson were really just more abrasive, less accessible versions of the same standard ‘Prog’ sound. ELP, on the other hand, were the Rock equivalents of postmodern experimental Classical composers like John Cage. Like them or not, they undeniably had their credentials as genuine avant-garde artists to a vastly greater degree than anyone else in the Prog scene except perhaps Frank Zappa. This song is one of their more ‘normal’ sounding compositions, but at the same time it is one of their most ambitious achievements, one that was intended to finally establish them as a legitimate Classical act. This is a setting and arrangement of a famous Classical hymn adapted from a Blake poem…think of it as a kind of “Wacht, Auf” for the Rock era. The late keyboard visionary Keith Emerson was apparently the primary force behind it, and while the Classical snobs who ran the BBC radio at the time refused to give it airplay, it really is one of the band’s all-time greatest achievements, stately, majestic and strangely beautiful in a very English way. I personally suspect it would probably have been their biggest hit had it not been denied proper exposure for no good reason, and one hopes that in the wake of Emerson’s tragic demise, people will come to be more appreciate of his achievements in general and this underrated masterpiece in particular.

Verdict: A magnificent legacy.

“Love Yourself” by Justin Bieber

Like Bieber’s other hits around this time, this was a surprising improvement on nearly all of his work pre-2015, with the same appealing vaguely Tropical-House EDM sound that had by then become his trademark. That said, like his prior hit single, “Sorry”, it has a tendency to pollute those appealing qualities with an extremely ugly, passive-aggressive lyric (the title is a euphemism for “fuck yourself”, for those who didn’t pick up on it). On “Sorry”, the pose he was apparently trying to strike was “sorry to the public for my asinine behavior in the last two years, except screw you, I’m not sorry”, but here, he’s offering more bluntly phrased but ultimately similar sentiments toward some unnamed girl. His fans, of course, were being led to believe it was directed as Selena Gomez, even though, since neither Bieber nor Gomez are singer-songwriters, the idea of them being in a Taylor Swift/John Mayer-esque songwriting feud is rather absurd. I don’t honestly know if Bieber and Gomez’s extremely public romance was ever anything but a publicity stunt to begin with, but I guarantee you that their respective handlers would not be trying to create the impression that they were still directing songs at each other this many years later if they hadn’t figured out that the resulting publicity and audience interest promoted their careers and led to increased profits. So the concept from which most interest in the song was drawn was little more than a cheap publicity stunt, and since I am capable of seeing through that attempt, I am left with little more than a pleasant EDM ballad set to poisonously mean-spirited lyrics, and I believe indifference is the most logical reaction in this case.

Verdict: Good music, bad lyrics, generally mediocre overall product.

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel

This song is as much a pervasive meme as a popular hit, and has received so many parodies and homages that doing so has become a cliche in itself, but unlike most songs that fit that description, it has actual substance, which is why its memetic status has lasted twenty-plus years while most memes almost by definition disappear after a few months. This is one of Billy Joel’s most sophisticated constructions…indeed, there is a song from the legendary off-Broadway cabaret piece Jacques Brel Is Alive and Well and Living in Paris called “Marathon” that is all but identical to this piece save for the particular decades it covers…and frankly, “We Didn’t Start the Fire” is a more satisfying song than “Marathon”. A surprising number of people have missed the point of this song…I’ve actually heard people complain about its device of placing pop culture trivia next to historically crucial events. But what these people miss is that this is exactly how history feels while you’re actually living it, with things that will be remembered forever side by side with transient pop culture and both receiving about the same amount of exposure and saturation, and the song does an uncanny job of capturing in song how the rush of human history actually feels in the moment. While Billy Joel has always been proud of the lyric, he himself underrates the achievement of the song’s melody, which, while not the prettiest thing Joel ever wrote, has the sheer driving force to capture the relentless forward plunging of human history and the helplessness we often feel in being caught up with it. Interestingly, the song’s chorus serves simply as a respite to allow the listener to periodically catch their breath (because being too accurate in capturing the desperate headlong plunge of human existence, which offers no such chances, would have made for an impressive but not very enjoyable song), while the music of real importance is heard on the song’s rushing verses. So you see, what seems at first glance like little more than an unusually well-crafted novelty song is actually much deeper and more complex than it appears on the surface, and it stands as one of the greatest testaments to what Billy Joel is really capable of as an artist.

Verdict: Better than even its admirers generally give it credit for.

“Danke Schoen” by Wayne Newton

Of all the Jazz-Pop vocalists labelled ‘Lounge Singers’, Wayne Newton is the only one where I can actually understand why people find him so irritating. Indeed, Newton seems to embody all the negative stereotypes about ‘lounge music’ that seem so ingrained in people’s consciousness, but that actually apply to so few of the singers generally grouped under that label. And I’m sorry, but Wayne Newton’s falsetto is one of the most annoying voices in all of popular music…it’s like the jazz equivalent of Peter Cetera’s voice, only somehow even more irritating. This song in particular brings out Newton’s unpleasant qualities, with a sappily sentimental lyric set to a tune that clearly doesn’t believe a word of it. The modern song it most reminds me of is Thomas Rhett’s “Crash and Burn”, in that the bland and callow melody just makes the sentiments of the lyrics seem blatantly insincere. So, you know all the stuff I wrote about ‘Lounge Music’ on my editorial on the subject…well, Wayne Newton is the exception to all that, and probably has a lot to do with how the negative associations I discussed there got started to begin with.

Verdict: Bad.

‘Lounge Music’? Seriously?

There are many genres that are generally reviled by critics and ‘serious’ music fans (and in some cases even by the general listening public), from Easy Listening and Soft Rock to Nu-Metal and Post-Grunge. Many of these genres are not entirely deserving of this treatment, and nearly all of them have at least a few good artists working in them, but of all the typical music critic’s favorite targets, none is so inexplicable or so unjustified as the hatred received by a genre commonly known as ‘Lounge Music’.

Now the thing is, you could make a case that this is a real and accurately-defined genre that happens to have been named by its detractors. At any rate, it’s certainly a category that it would be useful to have a catch-all term for, which is why some compilations of music from the era have latched onto it out of a kind of desperation, as it is the only universally recognizable term for the genre. But if you look past the negative associations that the name has picked up thanks to those detractors and take a look at what it actually describes, I think you’ll see that all this disrespect is completely unwarranted, and that the derogatory name should be retired in favor of one worthy of a genre like this one.

For those unfamiliar with the term or (more likely) its actual meaning, ‘Lounge Music’ is generally applied to the era of Great American Songbook Jazz-Pop that started in the late Forties and early Fifties and remained a reasonably strong commercial force until about the end of the Sixties, after which it trailed off into a niche genre that would occasionally produce a hit here or there as late as the late Seventies. This category includes the Capitol- and Reprise-era work by Frank Sinatra, as well as the work of Nat ‘King’ Cole, Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin, Bobby Darin, Tony Bennett and Perry Como, plus female singers like Peggy Lee, Doris Day and early Barbra Streisand (Louis Armstrong, Judy Garland, and Ella Fitzgerald, like Sinatra, predated the era in question, but their later work as pop singers has been lumped into the category too). The term also encompasses the compositions of Burt Bacharach and Hal David and most of the stable of singers who perform them, as well as the less experimental and more accessible Jazz acts of the era, such as Stan Getz, Louis Prima or Herb Alpert, and a few true Easy Listening acts like Liberace, Percy Faith, or Mantovani. It is clear, then, that this is essentially a general term for the ‘traditional’ (read: non-Rock) music that was popular with the older and more traditional crowd before and during the early days of Rock’n’Roll.

Of course, any rational person would look at the preceding list of artists in this ‘genre’ and ask why anyone would ever hold it in contempt or give it a derogatory nickname in the first place. It’s especially odd given that the era immediately preceding this one (generally referred to as the ‘Swing’ era) is something most of the smarter Rock critics don’t feel qualified to complain about. You know the era I’m talking about…the one marked not only by the great Jazz and Swing bandleaders like Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, and Glenn Miller, but also by several equally legendary singers (particularly Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald) who were associated with them. And while this era was admittedly a bit harder-edged and less self-indulgent that the one that came after it, the two periods have an enormous amount in common and were based on essentially the same musical influences. If you applied the modern manner of labeling genres to the music of the period, you could very well term the era of Jazz-Pop commonly labelled as ‘Lounge Music’ ‘post-Swing’.

The initial explanation for this comes when you remember that Rock as a genre was founded by young, rebellious counterculturalists who needed for emotional reasons to believe that everything their parents liked was automatically worthless. They can perhaps be forgiven in their youth and ignorance, especially since many of them did in fact create some wonderful music and break new ground that honestly needed to be broken. Less understandable is the completely irrational need of many Rock critics and fans today to convince themselves that their idols of that era were right, and that Rock somehow ‘saved’ music. In reality, it did no such thing; music was just as good and arguably better immediately before the Rock era began, especially in the period between 1958 and 1963 when close to the only good music on the charts was coming from these ‘Lounge’ acts. Even Rock’s own supposed experts often fail to see how much the genres owes to earlier musical innovations, including some from the very genre it thought it was rebelling against.

The musical Memphis tried to make this argument, too, portraying ‘White music’ as stuffy Easy Listening and ‘Black music’ (that is, R&B and early Rock) as some kind of revitalizing subversive force, but the truth is that those genres were based on the same basic influences as the Jazz that had provisioned the popular music of the previous two generations. Granted, the majority of ‘Lounge Singers’ were White, but so were Elvis, Buddy Holly, and the Beatles, so the race card Memphis tries to draw is irrelevant here since both genres were essentially the same thing…Black musical influences that would be largely co-opted by Whites; just because one was in an earlier stage in that process at that point doesn’t really make them any different.

The fact that the term ‘Lounge Music’ still proliferates, and in fact has become so ubiquitous than even fans of the style have started using it to describe the genre, tells you how deeply rooted the pet myths of Rock really are, and I await they day when Rock music finally grows up and realizes how much its parents really knew back when it took them for nothing but old fools.

“Piano Man” by Billy Joel

Billy Joel is widely despised by Rock snobs, even the ones who are willing to give a pass to his most immediate peers like Elton John. This is, if nothing else, consistent with their other stupid biases, since one of the unmistakable marks of a Rock snob is a blind hatred for anything that suggests Broadway musical theater, and Joel’s gift for melody and his exceptional talent for writing character songs make him sound far more reminiscent of a Broadway composer than conventional Rock, even the Soft Rock acts he is generally grouped alongside. This song in particular seems to draw the vitriol of the Rock snobs, especially given that it is based on Joel’s time as a literal Lounge singer, and ‘Lounge Music’ (which is, after all, closely linked to Broadway) is another extremely popular target of the Rock snob set. The song itself, of course, is one of Joel’s greatest masterpieces (there’s a reason it became his signature calling-card as a singer), with an immortal and explosively moving melody and an ultra-characterful lyric that finds in the small details of the lives of the patrons at a piano bar a kind of microcosm of the human condition. I have a sneaking suspicion that the real reason they hate this song so much is that, due to its clearly spectacular quality and direct links to both Broadway and ‘Lounge Music’, it sets off the insecurities that lead them to denigrate these genres in the first place to a particularly high degree. After all, if Rock snobs had to acknowledge the validity of the theater and Great American Songbook music that proceeded them, they’d essentially have to acknowledge that those genres’ longer legacy and far greater sophistication give them a certain seniority…perhaps even an overall superiority…compared to the relatively young and simplistic genre of Rock, and lord knows that admitting that the pre-Rock generations actually knew something goes against everything Rock snobs have trained themselves to believe. Granted, any given Frank Sinatra song would prove the same point at least as well if not better, but because “Piano Man” is technically Rock, the Rock snobs actually have to listen to it on their own Rock stations and be reminded that everything they believe about music is essentially manifest nonsense. Given this, their professed contempt for Billy Joel in general and this song in particular seems ultimately more like a desperate defense mechanism to avoid facing up to the inherent absurdity of there being such a thing as a ‘Rock snob’ in the first place.

Verdict: An indisputable masterpiece, and if you think otherwise you might want to question your musical worldview.

It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me” by Billy Joel

People who hate Billy Joel love to point to this single as evidence of his supposed worthlessness…a pathetically wimpy, intensely annoying Soft Rock ditty that sounds like a commercial jingle, and it has the audacity to be a dissertation on the entire genre of Rock. But as a longtime defender of Billy Joel’s reputation, I myself have an entirely different reason to resent this song’s existence (I mean, apart from the fairly obvious fact that it’s not very good). You see, the album this track comes from, Glass Houses, was Billy Joel’s attempt to prove that he was more than an Easy Listening balladeer and that he really could rock. Granted, like the Eagles, even Billy Joel’s attempts at Hard Rock always had a bit of a Soft Rock quality to them, but on most of that album, he rocks harder than he ever did anywhere else, creating the most intense Rock album of his career. Even the one other clinker on the album, “C’etait Toi (You Were the One)”, where Joel attempts to sing in very bad French, can honestly be said to rock. And after Joel releases this album that should have proven to the world his worth as a legitimate rocker, what becomes the breakaway hit from the album? The wimpy little pseudo-rock tune with the presumptuous-sounding lyric. The result is that all the good work that album should have done for Joel’s reputation was undone by this song, as generally only his fans have ever heard anything else from this album. So whether you’re one of Joel’s detractors or one of his fans, there’s plenty of reasons to hate this song to go around, and given its actual quality, I’m not sure it needed the help in the first place.

Verdict: Bad.