“Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck” by Anal Cunt

Or as the title originally went before a totally justified torrent of public outrage forced them to change it, “Eric Clapton’s Kid Committed Suicide Because He Sucks”. Yes, this band actually released a song mocking a legendary musician over the tragic death of his infant son. (And even with the title changed, one can still clearly make out the phrase “Eric Clapton sucks” in the song’s vocals, so it’s really still just as offensive as it was to begin with.) This isn’t an unusual thing for them, either: all their songs have disgusting shock value titles and lyrics that revel in the worst of humanity, and their last release would contain a song mocking the frontman of Nasum, a more legit Grindcore band with whom they had a bitter rivalry, for his death in the December 2004 tsunami. Their music is just as flippantly horrible as their lyrics, consisting of little more than random noise. The ‘noise’ part could be defended, in theory, as there are plenty of legit musical acts that sound like noise to most people’s ears; the problem is in the ‘random’ part. There’s absolutely no artistry or even effort here, just a sloppy cacophony with the lead ‘singer’ screaming obscenities over it. Their defenders claim that they’re meant to be a joke, as if that negates any and all criticism of them, but given that there’s nothing remotely funny about them, I’d say that defense doesn’t hold water. This is, quite simply, the Worst Band of All Time, and the fact that this is actually intentional on their part doesn’t let them off the hook for that…in fact, it may make it even worse.

Verdict: If this isn’t the worst thing I will ever review for this site, then may God have mercy on my soul.

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